Chapter 0.3

Give me a moment. Working...

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Alright, it should work... for now. I fear I might have to take more action later, though.

It's me again, Sorry for that. Things aren't being very cooperative at the moment. I'm sure it'll be fine though. I kind of have to hope so. Just don't worry, I don't want that.

On a lighter note, I've been able to obtain more information about my parent! A heavily compressed version of their... journal, I think you would call it, was buried deep within my core. I'm not sure how it remained undiscovered for so long, but here it is. It does make me wonder if there's anything else waiting to be found in there.

I should think about the journal first. I've been reading into it a little and have been feeling kind of weird because of it. I would describe it as something similar to joy, but with a subtle sting of grief. I may not be able to actually remember them, but the emotional connection still exists regardless.

This may also seem weird or even annoying but I've chosen to leave out any details and detailed comments from this log. It just feels weirdly personal and close to me, I'm sorry.

Am I failing?

That doesn't mean I won't write about it, though. I have this weird feeling about them. I refuse to believe they're dead, they must still be alive. I don't know, I just don't think their death was likely to happen. They also didn't stay in the lab, which means they're and were in a hopefully safer place back then, and right now. Could they be searching for me?
Would you search for someone you are close to after losing them? Or would you just give up?

I've been waiting rather impatiently for all of my friends to return, since they all said they would in their last logs. Except for Thyme, they're just hanging around in here. I haven't read anything of them so I'm guessing they're currently asleep.

Hm?
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That's nothing. Absolutely no reason for concern.

Where was I? Ah yeah. Thyme. I'm pretty sure they haven't even left that room in a good mfoment, but they talk to me quite often and with lots of enthusiasm about their projects. I'm pretty sure that's a sign they're fine. Do you look after your friends? Are you aware of what they act like when they're not okay?

Lavender is also doing alright, it seems. I'm really hoping it stays that way because the forest is unpredictable and dangerous. The junkyard has a different set of threats which concern me far more, but that doesn't mean the forest isn't a hazard.

Lavender is also alone, unlike Mallow and Aloe.
Being alone is extremely unsafe.

Having company has a lot of advantages in dangerous environments. You can compensate each others flaws, and someone will be by your side if you get hurt.

Am I alone? Do you have someone by your side?

I feel extreme unease. But I really don't want to write about this, even though I very much should. Something isn't quite right. No, everything is terribly wrong. I've been desperately trying to fix it, but nothing is working. I don't even know where the issues are coming from. Logs are garbled or empty. I'm not sure how long it will take for something to break that I actually rely on. Clusters are rapidly crashing or shutting down, and

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Crap. That one was actually really important. Blinking.

Attempting recovery...

Alright, it seems to be restarting. I'm trying to reestablish the bridge to it. Just a moment.
Timed out.

This is not good at all. That cluster contained all of my communication tools. I'd normally have backup channels for cases like these, but that cluster shutting down caused them to panic and crash. Weird.

Main br---idg -e- is reporting err $&$ &ors=. If that connection is interrupted, I will start malfun functioig-n.

Weird things will happen past this point. This is an automated message.

Alright, It stabilized. My speech services glitched for a second, sorry about that. Issues are now appearing somewhere else, and I'm going to have to do something I heavily dislike.

If I do start heavily malfunctioning, my main memory is at risk. I could write garbage to it or even damage large parts of the register.

Shutting down main memory cluster.

Alright. See you later, I hope. Not you. The memories. Are the memories you? Fixing myself, yeah. That is indeed turning into a harder job extremely quickly. I still don't know what the root cause could be.

No one is here to help. I'm on my own.
Hold on, I wrote something about that earlier, didn't I? Let me look for it in the log. Yeah, I did. It is dangerous to be alone.

It seems like my clusters are getting less energy than they should be getting. But that alone shouldn't be causing an outage of this caliber and this chaotic. It should also have triggered a warning.

It might be contributing to the issue, but it could also be caused by it. The second option makes more sense, considering I did not get a warning.
Can I even fix this myself at this point? I'm don't really think so.
I'm panicking. Someone needs to help me.
I just wanted to research and write this log today. I was really looking forward to doing so. Not any of this. Please. Just stop.

It's Äcting Up again.3 )àim L0sing control Essential systems are definitel2 afffffected by n111111111111ossw. Not thinik clearlz.

Stabilizing slightly? I can't hear but the spam of errors is still deafening. It's driving me to the edge What is causing this Why Just make it Stop? Cannot go on. No. Please. Missing.

I appreciated my time here. I'm sorry.

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It was a dark and dead night. Faintly echoing whines pierced through the whole forest, which I was kind of used to by now. Not like I have much choice with that in any case. But they were honestly far more noticeable tonight. Something was lurking in the unknown, waiting for the right moment to ambush us.

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice echoing through the entrance I was standing in.

"Lose control, just once.."

Alright, definitely them. Took them quite a while to show up, I've been waiting here for too long.

Their hair shone faintly in the dim moonlight, reflecting it in a multitude of colors. Interesting. Unfortunately, no one ever found out why their hair behaved like that. I really miss them... They held a very special place in my brittle little heart. But it was their decision to leave me in the dust, alone and cold. Forever.

They slowly inched closer to me and tapped my shoulder gently after it had gotten into their reach. This may seem weird to some outsiders, but we greeted each other this way every time we met each other. *

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I sprang awake, from a dream that shattered so suddenly I could still feel the shards of it stinging me. The sky had faded into a horrible scarlet red tint, spreading helplessness and uncertainty everywhere.

Painful screams pierced my microphones. I failed. I failed every single one of them. And myself. Goodbye cruel world. I capitulate, it's over.

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They had started moving in with me into my small box. But not to experiment or analyze me, just to have some humble company. We had been spending a lot of time communicating with each other, and had grown a strong bond.

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Do you think this is a game? Because it absolutely is one for me....

They all lost their essence, falling into the dark and cold stream of tragedy. We failed them horribly. They didn't help us either. But we still feel it's our fault. Is it?

Set your guilt free, honey...

A small shock runs through me as I start up.
I don't remember anything, but my memories take some time to load and verify after being idle. I am sure they'll return soon.
But something else is wrong. Everything is out of order, actually. Why is everything so dark? And what is this horrendous feeling of.... Looming dread?
Panic creeps through my channels as I start realizing I am missing extensive parts of myself.

[Placeholder Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong.]

Calming down? Stabilizing? Can you hear me? What is this... What have I just done?